Nobu (nobu) wrote,

New Year, Forever Resolution

In just over 5 months, I turn 30.

I want my thirties to be happier and more stable than my twenties. And I want to break up with my compulsive over-eating disorder forever. I don't want any more "last" binges or "tomorrow I'll starts". I have an addiction and it's destroying my life.

I am 5'5 inches tall with a small/medium frame. Today I weigh 221.4lbs which is .6lbs under my highest weight ever, which was sometime about a week ago. I'm done hating myself and wishing I would just have a heart attack and die so I wouldn't have to look in the mirror tomorrow.

This is the year I break up with my addiction. Am I terrified? Yeah.I miss being thin and comfortable and feeling strong, but it was scary, too. People around me aren't always supportive or nice when I'm losing weight or trying to better myself. I hate it when people comment (and they only comment when I'm losing, everyone keeps their mouths shut when I gain and gain and gain and gain).

But fuck them. It isn't their fault. It's my problem, my addiction. And I'm breaking up with these issues. Now. Not tomorrow. Today. And forever.

Never. Again.

That's my resolution.
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